Missing things

I was just thinking in the past 4 years, I've lost the following:
-my 2 best friends. one to school in another state, the other to the Army
-my brother and his family, to 5 hours away
-my old job and those job friends, in favor of a job with no friends and that is soul crushing and depressing
-my wife
-my dogs

I feel so defeated. I feel like a horrible person and I can't do anything right.

Our Future

I was driving last night around 11pm through some highway construction in which 3 lanes merged into 1. It was some nightly, overnight lane closures that from my experience are not all that uncommon. As sat there in gridlock at 11pm frustrated, I began to think. How many of our roads are under construction right now? It seems like almost everything is now. Our infrastructure is crumbling. Practically all roads are in need of some kind of repair. Even ones that are not really all that old. Our schools are cramming more children into each class as teachers are laid off or forced into early retirement. Bridges are failing. These are not small issues. They are the very basis by which we conduct our lives every day...the roads we travel on, the internet we use to obtain timely information, the people who are grooming our youth for the future. In some ways since my divorce I've been sad I'll likely never have children. It was never a driving force in my life to procreate yet at the same time I admit some sadness about never having someone come from me. But...at the same time I feel like the future is so grim, so void of any hope that bringing children into the world would be almost cruel. You can make the argument that child could become President of the US or cure cancer and that's certainly possible. It's just that when you see everything around you falling down, it doesn't give you much hope.

Dogs, sad

There is really nothing else to be said. Today is the 17th and I haven't seen the dogs since the 6th. I really miss them. A lot. It was absolutely beautiful outside yesterday and instead of taking a walk and going to the dog park I got high and watched Family Guy and ate fast food.

Annoying tweets

I canceled my Twitter account, a few months after canceling my Facebook account. That doesn't mean I still can't stalk other peoples Twitter accounts. And I have to say, the most annoying 'style' of tweet is the one that goes like this:

Dear _______
I hate (or love) _________

Signed,
______ (the tweeter)

STOP IT. Just stop. It's not clever or funny.

Tribute to the snake oil salesman

I have to hand it to Len. See, Len is my co-worker. Here at Dart, there aren't departments and nothing really functions like a "normal" company. So Len does a lot of different things....wears many different hats if you prefer a cliche. As we all do. But Len is best at being Len. And that's being a shyster, a filibuster, a con artist. I mean that with the utmost respect. I've seen Len diffuse a situation where a customer is really pissed off by talking about a fishing trip. Sometimes I sit there and to be honest, it offends my sensibilities. It's an insult to my intelligence. But there he is, plugging away. He does what he does and he's good at it. God bless him

Fatal Attraction (aka women are crazy part 2)

I went out on a date with a girl one week ago yesterday. It was fun. We saw each other again a few days later for a brief dinner. It was fun as well. Friday she came over for pizza and games. That too, was fun. Saturday, however, was weird and is going to force me to take immediate action. We had no plans for Saturday. I was doing my usual Saturday morning cleaning and in the afternoon headed outside to do some yardwork. When I came in and cleaned up, she expressed through text that she was surprised my work took that long. I thought to myself why should she be concerned how long this is taking me, we're not doing anything. But then she offered to come over and "reward me" later. It was cute but boxed me into a corner. Should I say yes, I've had enough of you don't come over and risk ending the relationship? I suppose I should have. But in a mistake I caved and allowed her to come over. After working all day me evening plans were to watch the Sox game and smoke. Making snide comments about both it was clear she wasn't interested in that agenda. Bottom line, seeing someone 4 times in one week is excessive. Before anyone gets the impression things are getting serious, things should be ended

Dog safety

They are walked before I leave for work at 5:30 in the morning. They are walked again for an extended period of time or taken to the dog park after I return home from work. I take good care of my dogs and would never do anything that would remotely bring harm to them. It offends me that my life is attempting to be controlled through them. My ex-wife is insistent that I inform her when "strangers", i.e. dates, are coming over to the house so that she might approve of them meeting the dogs. If this sounds silly to you, that's because it is. Look, the dogs see "strangers" every day at the dog park. They interact with them all the time. I'm curious as to whether she might react the same way if the visitors to the house were male. In any case, the dogs are gone and communication has ceased. It's a terrible situation but I might have to lose the dogs in order to rid myself of her. Let's face it- I'm not running a crack house. I don't have different people over every night. I'm a very responsible pet owner and I take good care of my dogs period.