So it's Friday afternoon on a Labor day weekend. I'm going out with Christina tonight to some concert but aside from that my weekend is very much open and free. It's gorgeous weather out so I'm contemplating a number of activities: there will be baseball on for sure. My movie I need to watch. I want to go to Whole Foods and get a nice steak and cookout one day. I'd like to have a fire. Get some stuff done around the house. So despite having to hang with Christina tonight- which I still think will be fun in any case- it should be fun.
Now then, as far as relationships go. Currently, I'm gaging how dumping Christina is going to go. I sense it could be messy. My plan is to go out tonight then draft a nice email sometime over the weekend explaining things. Or, if I'm feeling extra bold I'll get rid of her tonight. I think she's nice and friendly enough...but I don't think we have enough in common for a true long term relationship and while our relationship is "supposed" to be casual and just hanging out every now and then, I have the strong feeling she doesn't feel the same way. It's been about a month now since our first date, so I don't want to drag it out much longer.
Stephanie....I haven't spoken to Stephanie since Monday morning, the day after our bad Sunday. This situation continues to depress me day after day...I guess if I found some way to reconcile everything, some way to make myself feel better about it I'd be living a much better life. But I think even if I knew Stephanie was 100% happy with herself and her life, I'd still be miserable. I really really struggle communicating with her. I want to tell her all these things...I know the ship has sailed, etc....the dogs are just one part of it too. Today is Friday and marks the 1 month anniversary now of the spat w/ her over Christina coming over. I can't believe it's been 1 entire month already. And in that one month I've seen my dogs exactly once, for about 4 hours total. All this over me not telling her some girl was coming over to the house. On one hand, I just want to throw myself at her- do anything she wants- just anything. On the other hand, I still think she's being ridiculous and bitter and still mentioning the Samanta thing from like 6 months ago. I guess I feel if she wants to take care of the dogs forever, have them at her moms house- all that- to punish me or spite me- have at it. Just so you all know- i'm not a victim of course...i lied and i withheld information. But I didn't want to hurt Stephanie at all...I don't want to be dating Christina...if it were up to me I'd be going to the concert with Stephanie and playing a game with Stephanie. It's just gotten to the point where it's consuming me. I'm hoping over the weekend I'll be able to cool off a bit, maybe connect with her and at least get back to where we were.
No comments:
Post a Comment